Cade's Birth Story

Last pregnancy picture: 41 weeks, 6 days

This is the story of how Cade Isaac Panther came into the world.

With a due date like September 11th, one doesn't mind if the baby makes a late arrival.  But how late that arrival will be does start to matter after more and more time passes.  Our amazing OB/GYN, Dr. Hart kept saying every week, "I think this baby is coming and I won't see you at next week's appointment," and then sure enough, we'd show up yet again with no baby in our arms.  At 39 weeks, I was 3.5 centimeters dilated and 70% effaced and there I stayed all the way until the day he was born.  Just like his brother, he was lodged in the ROP (right occiput posterior) or face up position which causes little to no pressure on the cervix.

In order to avoid a certain undesirable attending at 42 weeks, we chose to be induced the day before at 41 weeks and 6 days.  Those that know me can attest how far from ideal this outcome was to me.  I strongly dislike hospitals and had planned to labor at home until the last minute, not begin the process at the hospital in the most un-natural way.  But those that have endured long pregnancies can attest that there is nothing like being two weeks overdue to motivate you to get that baby out.  It was, in every sense, MISERABLE.  

Tuesday morning rolled around.  Dave and I woke up at 5:15 am and I scarfed down a big breakfast, knowing that I had a lot of work ahead of me.  Even though we live 1 block away from the hospital, we were still 10 minutes late for our 6:00 am induction appointment.  Seriously?  Late-to-the-party Cade was even late to his induction appointment.  We showed up with smiles on our faces, adrenaline in our bellies, and hope in our hearts.  That hope was greeted with a "no room in the inn" speech from the charge nurse.  That's right, every single birthing room was taken.  Not only that, but there was an induction from the day before that was in line before us.  They told us to go home and that THEY would call US.  Boy was my mom surprised to see us walk through the door as she was feeding breakfast to Jack.

By this point, I was exhausted from the adrenaline let down so my mom and Dave took Jack for a walk to the VA to feed the ducks and geese while I got to take a nap.  When they got back, we headed over to Aimee Diocares' house for some play time with her son, Asa.  At 10:15 am, tired of waiting for a call, we headed back to the hospital to stake out a birthing room.  We checked in and then waited and waited.  Around 11:30, we decided to head down to the hospital cafeteria and eat knowing that it would probably be my last meal before the hard work of labor.  I had chow mein and eggrolls.  When we got back upstairs, we planted ourselves right out in the hallway and watched a hilarious episode of Duck Dynasty on the ipad.  Laughing together was just what we needed.

At 12:30, we were taken back into the triage area to get into a hospital gown and have an IV started.  I was fighting despair with every fiber of my being.  It was so discouraging to undress and don that humiliating hospital gown and to stare at the sterile equipment surrounding me.  I just kept saying to Dave, "This is just not the way that birth is supposed to be."  My fears were compounded by a tired and cranky nurse who couldn't stop talking about how painful labor is and how she doesn't understand why anyone would want to have more than two children.  Um...unhelpful.  She totally missed on the first IV insertion attempt and just got things off on the wrong foot.  

Just after 3:00 pm, our birthing room was finally open.  Upon arrival, we met our nurse, Becky.  She told us that she has been an L & D nurse for 37 years.  I was instantly put at ease thinking, "Wow, she is going to be a pro and SO helpful."  Unfortunately, our ideas about what makes an ideal birthing experience were on polar opposite sides of the spectrum.  She scolded me for wanting to stand by the bed and especially for needing to unplug the monitors to go to the bathroom.  Um...what?  As if choosing a pitocin induced labor without pain medication wasn't going to be hard enough, the last thing I needed was to be tied down to a hospital bed.  

At 3:25pm, they started the pitocin on the very lowest dose possible, bumping it up one notch every half hour.  Initially, the contractions that came were so mild that I could still talk through them.  My dear friend, Leslie Nguyen, showed up around 4 pm to support me.  We sat around chatting and waiting for things to really get going but we sent her home around 5:45pm so she could put her kids down for the night and then come right back.  Little did we know that less than 5 minutes after she left, I would be slammed with full force labor.

The first contraction hit me like a semi truck.

It felt like the contractions I remember from being in transition during Jack's birth.  What made it SO much worse, however, was the fact that it just wouldn't end.  A triple peak.  Three contractions back to back followed by less than a minute break before it would start again... another triple peak.  To cope with the pain, I turned inside myself, closed my eyes, and let out my labor song in a deep, low, sustained "uh" sound.  And let me tell you, it was intense!  Dave was right there the whole time, speaking encouragement and holding my hand.  My eyes are filling with tears as I type and remember how awesome he was at supporting me.  I still, to this day, pinch myself in disbelief at what an amazing man I married.  

This crazy pattern of labor continued for about an hour before they turned off the pitocin completely.  We thought that it would give me a bit of a break, but somehow my body was already in such an intense rhythm and the contractions just continued on in the same pattern.  The thought running through my head was, "Oh no, any minute they are going to ask me to roll onto my back and someone is going to try and check me to see how far along I am and then someone is going to tell me it's time to push... how am I going to survive that?"  

About this time, roughly 7 pm, it was time for a shift change.  And you know what, my angel walked through the door.  Our new nurse, Natalie, was literally a gift from the Lord.  The verse I was clinging to during those last long days of pregnancy was Proverbs 16:9 "A mans heart plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps."  God was in control, not me.  And as always, he has our good and his glory in mind.  The reason that I was 13 days overdue was so that I could have the most perfect nurse for me at Cade's birth!  Natalie works one shift a week.  She prays as she drives to the hospital that God would give her just the right patient.  She gave birth to her daughter at home with Karen Baker as a midwife.  And let me tell you, she was every single thing I needed in the moment: doula, midwife, and nurse all in one.  

Right around the time that Natalie arrived, I started experiencing that overwhelming bearing down feeling.  My labor song would be interrupted by small periods of silence as I pushed down little by little, never more than the involuntary amount that my body demanded.  And Natalie didn't protest at all.  She knew that allowing my body to just do what it was going to do would be much more effective than rolling onto my back and being forced to hold my breath to the count of 10, etc.  

My water broke at 7:32 pm in spurts with each subsequent contraction.

This entire time, I was laying on my left side and when it came time to actually deliver Cade, I stayed right where I was, never being forced to roll onto my back.  During the last phase of pushing, Natalie provided strong counter pressure on my back which made the pain bearable.  That is until the very end. The pain was so immense that I let out the most blood curdling scream I've ever heard.  It actually shocked me as it came out of my mouth.  Natalie got right in my ear and yelled, "BREATHE!!"  And honestly, I don't think I would have remembered to breathe had she not reminded me in the moment.

And before I knew it, at 7:58pm, he was here.  At the last moment, he turned face down like a champ.  Just like when Jack was born, I could not stop saying, "Thank you, Jesus!"  The doctor that delivered him?  We have no idea.  She came in at the very last possible moment and really didn't say a word the entire time she stitched me up.  Dave remembered to ask for delayed cord clamping and from there, our beloved nurse ensured our first hours with our son were perfect.  They placed Cade immediately on my chest which is where he stayed for the next hour and 45 minutes.  Just like his brother, Cade pooped right on my arm before they put a diaper on him.   Eventually, I had to ask to have him weighed because I was too curious.  8 lbs. 2 oz.

Our amazing OB, Dr. Hart, didn't make it to the hospital in time, but she still drove all the way from south Riverside just to give us a hug of congratulations.

Cade took a while to latch on for breastfeeding and finally figured it out at 9:10 pm.  He was a natural from the very beginning and has had a really easy time of it thus far.

The next day, we had visits from my mom and Jack, Grace Ko, Aimee and Asa Diocares, and Leslie and Nora Nguyen.  Cade started looking a little jaundice by the afternoon and instead of getting to go home at the 24 hour mark, the hospital staff decided to keep us one more night and put Cade on the Wallaby light to help his bilirubin go up.  We could tell that Cade had been nursing well all day but didn't realize how well until "poop apocalypse" that second evening.  He pooped seven diapers full within about a 20 minute span.  Several of those times were directly into my hand as I was trying to get the next diaper on.  Dave and I were busting a gut laughing the whole time.  Of course, the nurse came and weighed him shortly after and expressed concern over his extreme weight loss.  She even had the audacity to suggest that we may need to supplement with formula,  a surefire way to get this Mama riled up!

I've had several people assume that my labor with Cade was easier since it was so much shorter than my labor with Jack. Whereas Jack's birth was a true marathon (12 hours of actual pushing), Cade's birth can only be described as violent. It was a quick two hours, but so completely violent.  And that is exactly why pitocin gets paired with epidurals.  Since my babies like to hang out face up as they grow and subsequently make late arrivals, I'm already dreading this same mode of induction for our next baby.

By Thursday morning, we were antsy to get out of the hospital and get home.  I was already feeling strong and ready to be on my feet.  Our time since his birth has been a dream.  We've had such sweet times with both sets of our parents and with Dave's sister Katie.  Cade is such a sweet baby and Jack has done really well transitioning into being a big brother.  The reality of our life as a family of four is slowly starting to sink in and we are so excited to live this adventure together.

Jack meet Cade, Cade meet Jack

All pooped out (literally) and soakin' up some rays